I am the oldest of four children, and growing up in a military household was definitely an interesting experience. Our house ran much like a military base, with my dad as the chief commanding officer. I am sure that there were times when being a dad must have seemed harder than being a soldier, especially to the four of us. We are all very different, and sometimes the contrasting personalities are enough to drive the most patient man insane.

Growing up, one of the major areas where our individuality would shine through is how we would each respond to him. For example, if my dad were to tell us in a calm, normal tone that we needed to go clean our room, he would get four VERY different responses. One child would have interpreted his version of “clean” to mean “immaculate,” and would have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning going through every drawer, box and closet and proudly displayed their hard work. Another kid would have defiantly argued about the need for a clean room, and defended the mess by stating that germs build children’s immune systems. The next child would agree to clean their room, only to be distracted in the process by the discovery of a beloved toy that desperately needed some play time. And the last kid would have looked my dad in the eye and burst into a torrent of tears, complete with the shoulder shakes, as they sobbed that they were so sorry to have disappointed him and plead with him not to be angry at them forever. (I am not going to admit which of these responses belongs to me!)

As an adult, I see the same situation played out in the daily relationships around me. I cannot expect that everyone I am in contact with is going to think, behave and respond exactly like me. Which makes the way I deliver information just as important as the information itself. Whether I am talking with my co-workers, my friends or my husband, learning to “speak the language” of those I am in relationship with can play a vital role in communicating my heart to them.

Take some time to examine the lines of communication with those that you are closest to, and see if there are some contrasting “languages” that are being spoken. What are some of the things you do to adjust how you communicate with others?

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