One of the biggest adjustments that I faced as a new wife was in the area of finances. We hadn’t been married very long when we came to the startling realization that we had very different perspectives on how to spend our money. I saw shoes and jewelry as perfectly acceptable investments, while my husband enjoyed buying stock in video games. We quickly agreed that some adjustments would have to be made if we wanted to be able to pay rent and buy groceries in the same month. Writing out a budget was a true test of patience for us both, but in the end, the process revealed that this new season of life had resulted in a shift of our priorities. When it came down to it, the areas that we really valued were where we wanted to invest our money.

I wish that I could tell you that we lived happily ever after as we followed our beautiful budget, but that would a bit of a stretch from the truth. What I can say is that over the last two years, I have learned that my attitude plays a huge role in determining my level of contentment. I can follow a budget and resist an impulse purchase, but if I have a horrible attitude about it, resentment and bitterness start to blossom in my heart. However, when I choose to acknowledge that my financial decisions today impact my goals for tomorrow, it is easier to gain some balance. I might still really want to blow the budget for a new purse, but because I have placed more value on reaching a specific goal, resisting my shopper’s impulse isn’t as difficult. I can choose to be content.

Throughout the week, we have been introduced to a variety of ways to help us transform a part of our world without breaking the bank. To make a successful shift in our thinking, we have to examine our attitude towards our finances. It is possible for us to live satisfied and happy lives without extravagant spending.

photo istockphoto

Most people cringe at the thought of cleaning out closets and garages, often worried about what might be lurking behind the clutter. I, however, have found that cleaning out the mess can be a therapeutic experience for me. There are few places in my world where I can transform chaos into clarity in just a matter of hours. All it takes is a few sturdy boxes, a trash can, and a little elbow grease. Cleaning out my pantry and the closets is a regular occurrence in my house, and nothing brings me the same joy as opening a closet door to reveal the glorious order that has been restored.

A fail-proof approach that has worked for me is the Stay, Give, Go method. My first order of business is to yank everything out of the closet or from under the bed, and lay it out as best as possible so I can quickly get a snapshot of the content. I then crank up some great music and begin sorting. Each item has to be placed into one of the three categories. For me, it seems the easiest to start with the Go bin. Anything that is broken, ripped, has missing pieces or doesn’t work anymore get tossed into the garbage. Items that I have used within the past year and still have some life left in them can go into the Stay bin. Everything else usually falls into that category of “I loved this but don’t use it anymore and now it is taking up value space in my shrinking house.” These Give items are then donated so they can be a blessing to someone else.

Even though the result isn’t as immediate as when I clean out the closet, this is the same formula that I apply when evaluating my outlook on life. Over the years, I have devised a variety of approaches to turn to when I encounter a new situation. If I were to lay all of them out, it would be obvious to me that there are a handful of approaches that are broken, have missing steps or produce negative results. These need to be tossed out of my repertoire. There are some that were very useful during specific seasons, but don’t apply now. However, I can pass these along to others that might encounter similar seasons and could benefit from my experience. There would also be a handful of approaches that work wonderfully and are appropriate for my current stage of life.

I have found that regularly evaluating how I approach life is essential for me if I want to function to my full capacity. What worked in the past doesn’t necessarily work in the present. Being mindful of where I am now allows me to fully grasp and enjoy today. So as you peruse your cupboards and closets for ways to implement some of this week’s concepts, consider taking an inventory of how you approach your life. Are there areas that might need some spring cleaning?

photo istockphoto.com

I live my life in fast forward. It seems like every morning, I fight the urge to smash the alarm clock, run through my day with hectic demands coming from every direction, race home to get dinner ready, pull off the laundry/dishes/vacuum dance, and get the family settled down for the evening…only to start the whole thing over again the next day. In this crazy-paced world, it is so easy for me to get sucked into a belief that I must do it all and do it quickly. After all, why focus on only one thing when I could be doing twelve?

Recently, I was sharing my frustration about this cycle with a dear friend of mine, when she asked me the simple question “so when exactly do you breathe?” This friend once functioned at a pace that would have made Olympic sprinters jealous, juggling the demands of work and school and being a caregiver all at once. Two years ago, she traded that life in to move to a small farming community, and something magical happened. She slowed down.

For me, a slower pace is synonymous with the country experience. Currently, packing up my prized possessions and relocating to the country isn’t an option, but I do think that it might be possible to capture some “country moments” and sprinkle them throughout my chaotic days. Even if my responsibilities do not change, my priorities can be adjusted. There may be some things that need to move from the “today” list to the “eventually” list. It may be an opportunity to delegate some tasks, or even reevaluate what is on my plate so I make sure that distractions are removed and I focus on the most important tasks. I may also need to schedule a “country moment” to make sure that, at some point, I catch my breath.

Over the next few days, I encourage you to look for opportunities to bring a “country moment” into your busy day. Evaluate the things that clamor for your time and attention. Really spend some time assigning priority levels to each item on your list and be realistic about any deadlines you set for yourself. Anything that really isn’t a priority and is extra on the list can move to the bottom. Let us know some of the creative ways that you have found to incorporate the country experience into your world!

photos istockphoto

I must confess. When I was younger, I was an avid reader of anything that had a mystery theme. Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys often kept me company and I had visions of becoming a legendary detective who could solve any case without exception. The characters in these stories captivated my attention by taking everyday objects and situations and using them to unlock the story behind the crime. They solved problems by thinking outside of the box–an approach that kept me spellbound!

Even though I have traded in my magnifying glass and flashlight, there is still the heart of a detective deep within me and it often plays a role in my everyday challenges. I am rarely able to carry out my goals for the week without hitting some sort of obstacle–it is amazing how quickly 24 hours fly by when I have a list of things to accomplish. At this point, I face two choices. I can throw my hands up in dismay and dramatically proclaim that everything is a disaster and there is no chance of recovery, or I can adjust my perspective.

Our perspective often limits our ability to see a solution to an issue. Oftentimes, we get so caught up in the routine of how we have always done a task that we miss the chance to be creative when a new challenge arises. This week, we have talked about ways to solve some common dilemmas. As new challenges arise, like good detectives, we can shift our perspective when dealing with our children, interacting with our spouse, or carving out moments for ourselves. Here’s to a happy sleuthing weekend!

photo istockphoto.com

When I was little, I had a love/hate relationship with the idea of chores. While I loved the fact that each sticker on the chore chart produced a quarter for my piggy bank, I wasn’t always the biggest fan of how cleaning activities cut into my play time. As I grew older, the chore chart seemed to transform with each new stage; the payout amount incrementally would climb, but the physical requirements of the chore list seemed to increase as well. All the while, my parents were secretly teaching me valuable lessons I needed to be an effective adult. Here are three of my favorite lessons I plan on passing on to my children:

• There is a difference between being responsible for myself and contributing to the greater good of my community. I vividly remember complaining to my parents about the fact that “making my bed” wasn’t listed on the chore chart. I figured I should be paid for the fact that bed making was something important to them. However, my parents seemed to believe that things pertaining to my livelihood were my responsibility and didn’t deserve compensation. Activities deemed as beneficial to the family as a whole, such as emptied dishwashers and vacuumed floors and mowed yards, would lead to a pay day reward. Our chore charts specifically excluded things like clean rooms, clean laundry and clean bathrooms…after all, I was the one who would benefit from these things being addressed.

• There is strength in numbers. My mom is a sneaky woman. There were certain chores on the list that would have a bigger payout, but these chores ALWAYS were a two-man job. Once my brother and I realized we could make more money when we pulled our resources, our bickering ceased and we learned the art of teamwork. Each of us brought strengths to the table, and putting them together produced a greater result than both of us working independently. My mom strategically taught us how to value others and the strength they bring to a relationship.

• I am capable of producing something of value. One of the things I really appreciate about my parents was their ability to see chores as an opportunity to learn a new task. On a regular basis, new chores would appear on the chart, and often would require us to master a new skill that would stretch us in some capacity. Even when the learning process would start out rough, it was only a matter of time before we would be able to complete the chore without their assistance. Without even realizing it, I had cultivated a mindset of perseverance, believing I could accomplish anything if I was willing to put forth the effort.

What are some of the ways you incorporate chores into your child’s world?

photo Martha Stewart

This last week, I became a new aunt…sort of. After several years of trying to start a family, my best friend and her husband adopted an amazing little girl. Their daughter is a miracle, and practically perfect in every way imaginable. Twice this week, I have sat in wonder and treasured my special moments with her, just rocking and cooing and making ridiculous faces at her in hopes of a smile. My favorite moments, though, have been listening to my best friend talk about her new daughter. Joy drips off every conversation, and each word seems to be bursting with love, as if trying to help you experience the amazing feelings of excitement and gratitude for this precious gift. It is the sweetest sound to me, and all I want to do is celebrate.

Joy can be contagious if we let it. There is something amazing to me about the way that we can rejoice with others as they experience joy and fulfillment in their life. Whether it is a huge milestone, like becoming a parent, or daily victories like resisting the chocolate fudge brownies, celebrating is an important part of relationships. The catch lies in the status of our heart. If we are not vigilant, our hearts become susceptible to selfishness, which keeps us from being truly secure in who we are. Over time, selfishness decays the areas of our heart reserved for relationships, attempting to convince us that good things only come to those who push and shove and grab. Selfishness also taints our vision, so when great things happen for others, all we see is that the great thing didn’t happen to us.

Fortunately, there is a cure to this common ailment. Making the choice to rejoice alongside others can initiate a shift in our perspective, and over time can have a lasting impact on how we choose to live our lives. Keep your eyes peeled for the moments of celebration in the lives of others, and then make a choice to join in the party!!

What are some of the special moments when others have celebrated something special in your life?

photo Jessica LeFlore

I have a tendency to make things really complicated. Just ask my husband, and he will adamantly confirm this fact. Whether it is the organization of our pantry, the way I attempt to diet or my approach to solving a problem, I have the tendency to pick the most complicated route to obtain my goal. While there are times this approach might build character, there are even more times that it is just downright frustrating.

So as we have been making an effort to “go green” in our home, I thought it would be the perfect time to try a different approach. I decided to try adding two new habits into our normal routine that would be eco-friendly and EASY!!!

1. Clean with vinegar. I have heard this idea before, but once I did a little investigating, I discovered that vinegar could replace about 80% of my normal cleaning products. It acts as a disinfectant and is family friendly. For several helpful tips on using vinegar to clean, click here.

2. Get a recycle bin. I know…this seems like a no-brainer. But the cool thing is now that we have a separate bin for our recyclables, we were able to downgrade to a smaller trash can, which turns out costs less to have the city pick up. We added a second trash can in the kitchen especially marked for recycle right next to our normal can, so it is really easy to just sort right in the moment. And we save about $15 a month, so what is easier than that! Check with your local city to see what they accept for recycle.

What are some of the ways you have “gone green”?

photo Martha Stewart 

The bedding, curtains and pillows were custom made by the homeowner and her mother-in-law.

The birds nesting on the branches above the baby’s crib were also made by the homeowner using this adorable, free pattern by Spool. It was inspired by a friend who had designed a bird mobile for her daughter’s nursery. The branches are from the Bradford Pear in the front yard and are sealed with spray-on polyurethane.

The dresses hanging on the hooks are Polly Flinders that belonged to the homeowner when she was a baby. The bonnet was hers as well. The hooks are from Anthropologie.

Both art prints were free! The tree print was downloaded from a site offering free printable art, and the homeowner designed the scripture verse.

The bird’s nest and eggs are from Wisteria. The shadow boxes flanking the mirror to house the eggs were built by the homeowner’s husband. The pink yarn-wrapped twigs were inspired by HGTV’s Dear Genevieve.

The frog doorstop belonged to the homeowner’s great grandmother. It has sentimental value, and the homeowners have a certain affinity for frogs (err … make that Horned Frogs!).

The dress hanging on the closet door was made by the homeowner using this free tutorial.

The rug is from Calypso St. Barth.

On her dresser, the FAITH plaque was a gift from the homeowner’s aunt. It was originally barn red with an iron bird. The silver tray was a garage sale find, and it serves as a catch-all for pacifiers and hair bows.

A canvas-covered version of The Secret Garden (available at Anthropologie) sits on the nightstand, topped by a pink New Testament embossed with her name.

All images copyright Shalene Roberts.

Church has always been an important part of my life. From the time that I was little, I can remember getting dressed up on Sunday mornings, and attending services with my family. As we grew older, my siblings and I participated in children’s activities and youth groups, and there were times when it seemed like we were at church every time they opened the doors.

When we moved to Texas, finished out high school at a small Christian school, and then expanded my territories by going to a small Christian college…for seven years. In both school settings, chapels were a required part of our weekly schedule, and most of our campus activities would have some spiritual undertone to them. You would think with all this religious activity, I would be a very good, pure, holy, spotless individual. Nothing could be further from the truth.

On March 15, 1996, I asked Jesus to be my Savior. I was fifteen at the time, and looking back now, I know that those years leading up to my faith decision were used to tenderize my heart for that very moment. However, I still felt like I wasn’t that great of a person, especially since I still struggled and still got in trouble. Somewhere in my heart I believed that being a “Christian” meant being perfectly sweet and kind and never fighting with my brother and always using my manners. I honestly believed that throwing myself into the “stuff” of the church would help produce these wonderful attributes, but I quickly discovered that activity without sustenance just makes me weak and burned out. So I faked it.

It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in college, still struggling with the same areas I was when I was 15, that I decided it was time for a change. I was seeing my roommates and friends develop a truly authentic faith, one that was their own, and I desperately wanted that same thing to happen in my life. I felt like I had faked my entire Christian experience, and I was tired of pretending that I had it all together. So I let go. One of my professors, who had spoken into my life several times, walked me through the different aspects of being a Christian and what it meant to have an authentic and deep relationship with a God who treasured my heart and knew me by name. And with that, everything began to change.

It has been almost ten years since my heart shifted, years with great triumphs and great tragedies. But through it all, my relationship with my Savior has grown and developed and strengthened, because each time I start to drift off into a “faking it “ mode, He gently reminds me of His overwhelming love for me, and that I am designed with a purpose and plan He has already laid out for me. And I come running right back to Him.

As we celebrate Easter this weekend, and the wondrous miracle of a God who loved us enough to sacrifice everything for a chance to have a relationship with us, I just encourage you to examine where you are in your faith. Do you believe because you are “supposed to” or do you walk in a growing and developing relationship with a Savior who is madly in love with you? One choice can make all the difference.

If there is any way that I can encourage or pray for you, please feel free to email me!

photo historytoursnorfolk.co.uk 

I love being married. Getting married was one of the greatest highlights of my life, and if I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t hesitate for an instant! Planning my wedding, however, was a bit of a…challenge. Some girls are wired to love all things frilly and feminine, making wedding planning a dream come true for them. I was, and still am not, one of those girls. If I were completely honest, the biggest challenge for me during the pre-wedding process was attending MY OWN showers! I have never really liked being the center of attention, so to have everyone watching me and gauging my reactions to their gifts wasn’t the most comfortable thing for me. Being that I have a large family and very lovely friends, I had a total of eleven showers, so by the time we got married, I was a professional! To help me keep the anxiousness under control, I compiled my list of what I considered to be proper etiquette as the person being showered. Here are my Top 10 rules for when you are “in the shower:"

1. Make sure to acknowledge everyone who is in attendance at the BEGINNING of the shower. Great fiascos have ensued from accidental slighting of sensitive guests.

2. Smile a lot! Cameras are hiding everywhere, and tend to take pictures where you might look less than thrilled that you are there and not at home organizing your sock drawer.

3. Get the eating part over quickly. See comment on previous hint. Unflattering pictures have a way of showing up in scrapbooks and slideshows later on.

4. ALWAYS keep a drink in hand. When you aren’t sure how to answer a question about your future marriage, in-laws, your level of nerves about the wedding night, desired amounts of children, or how long you plan on waiting before said babies, just take a LONG sip of your drink and remember that if they are at your shower, they care about you…and they probably brought a present.

5. DON’T break any bows during the present phase of the shower!! Apparently each broken bow indicates a child you will eventually have. There is nothing more satisfying then getting all the way through the unwrapping phase without one broken bow!

6. Have someone you love, and who is already married, sit next to you as you open gifts to write down each present and who it is from. It definitely helps later as you write your thank you cards and if you get a mysterious gift, chances are she got one at her shower and she can whisper how necessary the gift is so you are adequately thrilled at the thought of mastering the gadget.

7. Say thank you to each person for coming and for their generosity. See comment #1

8. Use the label database you should have made for your wedding invitations to print address labels for your thank you cards. Every minute saved is priceless!!!!

9. Get your thank you cards out ASAP!!!!!! You will get distracted with other wedding excitement urgency and completely forget this important step!!!

10. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a great part of getting to be a bride!!! Don’t lose sight of the fact that people throw you a shower to honor you and your future spouse and it is a way for people to bless you. Enjoy it!!!

photo marthastewart.com